i happen to think that i am blessed to have the best mom in the world. i suppose a lot of us feel that way.....so, this year (1993) i decided i wanted to do something extra special for my mom. we had recently received a wedding invitation for a friend of ours who lived in Savannah Georgia. i knew my mom wanted to go...but, didn't really consider it, because she really couldn't afford it, and, she had only been on an airplane once before in her entire life. (that's another story....for a later date). i knew i had just done my taxes, and i was expecting a refund.....so, when it came, i went to the travel agency here in town, and made the reservations. i picked up the tickets just before mother's day, and decided to have a little fun. on sunday, mother's day....i hid the tickets in a secret place in my house. when my mom arrived....i was so excited! i handed her a mother's day greeting card, and when she opened it....inside was a sticky note that read: "i have a surprise for you....look on the bookshelf, behind the vase...." she was perplexed...but, she played along...."okay", she said...and went to the book shelf, where she was met with her next sticky note with her next clue...."go in the kitchen, look in the dishwasher, on the top shelf"....this went on, and on....and, just when she couldn't take it anymore....she found the tickets. when she saw the little airplane on the envelope, she knew...but, she couldn't believe it. she was so excited! "you're kidding", she kept saying. "YOU'RE KIDDING". but, i wasn't kidding. we were on a plane the following friday.
we (my mom, Michael, and i) arrived in Savannah late friday evening, rented a car, found somewhere to eat....then, it was straight to the hotel for a little rest, and to prepare for the upcoming day. i found this great hotel right on the beach on Tybee Island, which is just a short drive from Savannah. if you've never been to Georgia....Tybee Island is a little like Santa Cruz or Capitola. it's a quaint, small town, beach atmosphere. we just fell in love with it! we were able to catch a little glimpse in the morning on our way to Savannah....and, the seafood lovers that we are....i knew we had some restaurants to discover when we got back to the island.
on our way to the 'square' where the wedding was to take place...we soaked up some of the beautiful scenery Savannah has to offer. this was the best time of year to be there, according to the locals....and, it sure looked like it to me. some of the most spectacular oak trees i had ever seen. just took my breath away. as we were driving our little dodge neon rent-a-car through the town....we came to a four-way stop sign. there was a market on one corner, where a tall gentleman was standing, holding a single brown grocery bag in his arms, waiting to cross the street. as i approached the corner, i motioned with my hand for him to cross in front of us.....after all....i made sure that we left in plenty of time....we were in no rush at all. the man, however....just stood there....and well...looked at me. he made no motion to me....he said nothing. i motioned again...then, i looked to my mother, and said "why won't that man go"? she jokingly said..."maybe he's afraid your gonna hit him". i said, "uh, uh...he does not think that....does he?" i looked back at the man, and motioned again....he simply would not move. now, i'm really confused....why won't this man go? then, suddenly...he started to step off of the curb....but, he was not about to cross the street....it was clear. i tried to smile...but, that didn't affect him at all. this went on for long enough...this man was not going to cross in front of me. i just didn't understand....could my mom be right? was he afraid? of me? did he actually think that i would run him down? why would he think that? why would he fear me? it hurt my feelings, and had me very confused. then it hit me....he's black. i'm not...and that IS fear on his face. how could this be? in this day and time...1993...not 1963. my heart was broken.
when we got to the 'square' where the wedding would be....which wasn't entirely easy....there are many 'squares' in Savannah, and apparently it's where a lot of people like to get married, i noticed that there were many weddings in many 'squares' that we saw. this particular square was really neat, i found out later, that it's where they filmed one of the scenes for 'Forrest Gump'. the scene where Forrest waits at the bus stop, talking to the different people, and has that famous line..."life is like a bunch of chocolates"....except that (little known trivia) the 'square' is on a one way street....and, for the film...the scene was set up that the bus drives up along the curb with the bus's passenger side towards the park bench. in 'real' life...the bus would arrive at that park bench with the driver's side facing it. we thought that was pretty cool.
i found one of our friends, Mary (it was her daughter, Jennifer who was getting married)....and i started to tell her about what had just happened to us on our drive through town. i could tell by the look on her face, that she was not surprised. she said "dear...you're from California...things are different here". i said..."i don't understand". she explained to me that things have not changed as much as they should have since the civil rights movement in the 1960's. there are still lines that divide people by their races in Georgia. "you're lucky that you live in such a diverse area....we still have a long way to go before a black person will walk in front of a car driven by a white person", she said. "yes...it's a shame...it's very sad...but, it's the way it is", she said.
this was such a foreign concept for me. even though i have heard racial slurs, and have witnessed bigotry here and there....it's never been something i have been comfortable with. i have always felt strongly about this. so much so, that i made a conscious effort when raising my son, that he would not be exposed to bigotry, if i could help it. i would correct my grandmother when she would tell my son that "the little black boy", or "the little italian boy" came by looking for him. i realize that that's how it was for her when she was growing up....everyone had a label, an identification according to their race. i did not want my son identifying his friends by their race, i refused. i would say..."no, Nana...you mean Marcus came by, or Anthony came by". she would say, "yes, honey...that's what i said". she was quite funny....but, she did understand what i was saying, and what my wishes were for my son....and along the way she learned too.
Jennifer's wedding was beautiful.....we ate at some fantastic restaurants. one of our very favorites was "The Crab Shack". we went on a tour of Savannah....what a gorgeous city. before we knew it...the time flew by...it was time to go home. i'm so glad we were able to go....we all had such a great time....but, my mom had the best time.
we (my mom, Michael, and i) arrived in Savannah late friday evening, rented a car, found somewhere to eat....then, it was straight to the hotel for a little rest, and to prepare for the upcoming day. i found this great hotel right on the beach on Tybee Island, which is just a short drive from Savannah. if you've never been to Georgia....Tybee Island is a little like Santa Cruz or Capitola. it's a quaint, small town, beach atmosphere. we just fell in love with it! we were able to catch a little glimpse in the morning on our way to Savannah....and, the seafood lovers that we are....i knew we had some restaurants to discover when we got back to the island.
on our way to the 'square' where the wedding was to take place...we soaked up some of the beautiful scenery Savannah has to offer. this was the best time of year to be there, according to the locals....and, it sure looked like it to me. some of the most spectacular oak trees i had ever seen. just took my breath away. as we were driving our little dodge neon rent-a-car through the town....we came to a four-way stop sign. there was a market on one corner, where a tall gentleman was standing, holding a single brown grocery bag in his arms, waiting to cross the street. as i approached the corner, i motioned with my hand for him to cross in front of us.....after all....i made sure that we left in plenty of time....we were in no rush at all. the man, however....just stood there....and well...looked at me. he made no motion to me....he said nothing. i motioned again...then, i looked to my mother, and said "why won't that man go"? she jokingly said..."maybe he's afraid your gonna hit him". i said, "uh, uh...he does not think that....does he?" i looked back at the man, and motioned again....he simply would not move. now, i'm really confused....why won't this man go? then, suddenly...he started to step off of the curb....but, he was not about to cross the street....it was clear. i tried to smile...but, that didn't affect him at all. this went on for long enough...this man was not going to cross in front of me. i just didn't understand....could my mom be right? was he afraid? of me? did he actually think that i would run him down? why would he think that? why would he fear me? it hurt my feelings, and had me very confused. then it hit me....he's black. i'm not...and that IS fear on his face. how could this be? in this day and time...1993...not 1963. my heart was broken.
when we got to the 'square' where the wedding would be....which wasn't entirely easy....there are many 'squares' in Savannah, and apparently it's where a lot of people like to get married, i noticed that there were many weddings in many 'squares' that we saw. this particular square was really neat, i found out later, that it's where they filmed one of the scenes for 'Forrest Gump'. the scene where Forrest waits at the bus stop, talking to the different people, and has that famous line..."life is like a bunch of chocolates"....except that (little known trivia) the 'square' is on a one way street....and, for the film...the scene was set up that the bus drives up along the curb with the bus's passenger side towards the park bench. in 'real' life...the bus would arrive at that park bench with the driver's side facing it. we thought that was pretty cool.
i found one of our friends, Mary (it was her daughter, Jennifer who was getting married)....and i started to tell her about what had just happened to us on our drive through town. i could tell by the look on her face, that she was not surprised. she said "dear...you're from California...things are different here". i said..."i don't understand". she explained to me that things have not changed as much as they should have since the civil rights movement in the 1960's. there are still lines that divide people by their races in Georgia. "you're lucky that you live in such a diverse area....we still have a long way to go before a black person will walk in front of a car driven by a white person", she said. "yes...it's a shame...it's very sad...but, it's the way it is", she said.
this was such a foreign concept for me. even though i have heard racial slurs, and have witnessed bigotry here and there....it's never been something i have been comfortable with. i have always felt strongly about this. so much so, that i made a conscious effort when raising my son, that he would not be exposed to bigotry, if i could help it. i would correct my grandmother when she would tell my son that "the little black boy", or "the little italian boy" came by looking for him. i realize that that's how it was for her when she was growing up....everyone had a label, an identification according to their race. i did not want my son identifying his friends by their race, i refused. i would say..."no, Nana...you mean Marcus came by, or Anthony came by". she would say, "yes, honey...that's what i said". she was quite funny....but, she did understand what i was saying, and what my wishes were for my son....and along the way she learned too.
Jennifer's wedding was beautiful.....we ate at some fantastic restaurants. one of our very favorites was "The Crab Shack". we went on a tour of Savannah....what a gorgeous city. before we knew it...the time flew by...it was time to go home. i'm so glad we were able to go....we all had such a great time....but, my mom had the best time.
first and foremost.. "congratulations!" on your new blog and your first post
ReplyDeletewonderful story! enjoyed hearing it over the phone, and enjoyed reading/re-living it write now
i do feel very blessed to live in an area of the world, where, for the most part, people of diverse nationalities, education levels, religions, social/economic/political backgrounds live in harmony
-some parts of the world still have catching up to do
but always grateful for my parents.. and parents like yourself, who raise their children true to dr. martin luther kings dream
to judge people based on the content of their character, not their skin color
his dream is alive! and coming true through people like you
yet another reason i love you so,
~s.
p.s. if you are taking requests.. would love to read your sarah story here..
she: thank you, thank you, thank you!! your support, your encouragement, your valued friendship...you're such an inspiration to me....i'm still pinching myself...and so grateful to have you back in my life.
ReplyDeletelooking forward to seeing you tomorrow...
and i love you right back!